Of Sapphires, Rubies, And Gold: The Vision That Challenged My Self-Perception
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It happened in an instant, but will last forever.
I received an unforgettable vision that challenged my perceptions of self.
In my mind's eye, I saw a dazzling gold necklace, embellished with sapphires and rubies. This expensive necklace was the only one on display in a glass storefront window. Surrounded by a black velvet wall, it was securely encased. It could be viewed, but not touched, as if it was the most valuable piece of jewelry on display.
Men would walk up to the necklace to gaze upon its beauty and brilliant design. Then, they would turn around and walk away. Although they admired the necklace and knew it was of great value, they did not purchase it. The necklace remained alone.
Realizing, I was the necklace, I felt the pain of disappointment and rejection. Looking out the window, I saw men come and go. I felt alone. I wanted to be purchased! I wanted to be taken out of the storefront. I wanted to be theirs. I thought maybe if I didn't cost so much, maybe if I went on sale, I could be afforded! I could become theirs.
My thoughts were immediately interrupted by a voice that asked , “Why do you want to devalue yourself?”
With a gasp, the vision faded away and I came back to reality. I sat in astonishment as I thought about the question. Feelings of shock and sadness consumed my heart like a blazing fire. I realized that I did not understand or appreciate my value. I was willing to devalue myself.
This vision was a reflection of my reality at the time. When I received this vision, it seemed like men were not interested in me. I hadn’t been approached for my number, let alone asked on a date. I wasn’t even receiving those little unwanted flirtatious compliments or winks. Not even from the guys that I would not have wanted to date anyway. This lasted for years!
So, I started doing that thing that a lot of us women do when we are dealing with rejection. I started to wonder, “Am I not pretty enough?” “Am I too fat?”, “Do I say no when I really should say yes?”
But as the years went on, I started to question even those thoughts! It started to feel pretty odd that I hadn’t received ANY attention from ANY man for over such a LOOOOOOOOONG period of time. The issue was beyond me not being enough. It felt like there was another reason for my prolonged singleness.
I would joke that God had a force field around me and no man, even if they wanted to, could get close to me. I felt off-limits.
There was truth to my joke. God really was protecting me.
Sometime after I had the vision, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that God was the glass and the black velvet wall. He himself was preserving me because I was of great value and worth to him. He created me. I was his masterpiece. I was made in excellence. I was his brilliant design. He needed to keep me untarnished and secure.
Whoever He allowed to have me, had to appreciate and value me as much as He. They needed to know how to preserve me, maintain my value, and keep me untarnished.
I needed this revelation! I needed to see myself as God saw me. I was so desperate for acceptance, that I was willing to devalue myself. This vision taught me to value and protect who I am.
And although it happened in an instant, the vision has not faded from my memory. That necklace in the quiet storefront, softly reappears, reminding me to treasure my self-worth.
Take some time to reflect!
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